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Falling in love is as easy as trusting is hard. Trust has to be earned, and it is a long, tough process. If you are dating someone who has been in hurt in the past, and finds it difficult to trust, it will be hard to earn their trust. You will have to put in time and effort, and not take his trust issues to heart. Here’s how you do it.
1. He has probably been hurt before.
Trust issues often have roots in past hurts and betrayals. If your boyfriend has had his trust betrayed in the past, be patient with him. He won’t trust easily.
2. You have to be completely open and trustworthy.
The only way to get someone with trust issues to trust you, is to be honest and transparent about everything. Persistence is the key. It won’t come easy.
3. Pushing them to trust you, won’t make them.
There are some things you cannot rush. Pressurizing your boyfriend to trust you, or making him feel guilty about not doing it, won’t help your case. It will only make him retreat further into his shell.
4. Be a supporter, not a fixer.
If they have been hurt by someone else, you cannot fix it. You can only provide your love and support. Don’t try to find a solution where none exists. Just be supportive.
5. Patience is of paramount importance here.
Building trust takes time, and yes, the wait may be frustrating at times, but have faith. It will be worth it in the end.
6. His trust issues are not a blot on you.
It is all too easy to take someone’s trust issues personally and feel hurt because they do not trust you. But his trust issues have nothing to do with you. He has been hurt before, and might take time to trust you, but you needn’t feel bad about it.
7. Sometimes people use their trust issues as an excuse for their flaws.
Granted, your boyfriend has trust issues. But that doesn’t mean he can get away with anything and everything. Don’t let him use trust issues as a crutch to monitor your calls and movements, suspect you of cheating and be a control freak.
8. You have to be patient and understanding, but don’t stand for any shit.
Your boyfriend has every right to cite his trust issues as a reason for his reluctance to commit. But you have just as much right to call him out on his bullshit. Don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. Trust issues are not an excuse for paranoia, suspicion and a refusal to commit.
9. He might be a little clingy.
He might think that sticking to you will keep you loyal to him, and will protect him from further hurt. You will have to gently help him get over and trust issues and make him see that clinginess isn’t the best solution.