Sometimes we think too much. We can’t help it. The human mind is wired that way. But, for a healthy relationship, it is important that you keep these thoughts away.
1. Thinking that you’re not good enough for your partner.
Self doubt can besiege the best of us. We all have our weak moments. But chronically nurturing doubts that you somehow don’t match up, or that your partner deserves better, can wreak havoc in a relationship. Self confidence goes a long way, both in relationships and in life!
2. That your partner will break up with you or cheat on you.
Why entertain the thought, when there are no indications for it? Many people insist on cooking up imaginary scenarios of what would happen if their partner cheated on them, or broke up. This can be harmful for a relationship. Banish all doubts, and learn to trust and let go.
3. Why can’t he/she read my mind?
When in a relationship, especially a long-term one, we often fall into the trap of expecting our partner to anticipate our feelings and needs without us saying a word. This leads to irritation and resentment when our partner doesn’t realize what we need. No one is a mind reader. Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. If you don’t communicate effectively, your partner will never know what you are thinking.
4. What will people think?
Unfortunately, we live in a world where public validation and acceptance from peers matters a lot. So what if your partner doesn’t match up to your friends’ notion of the kind of person you should be dating? So what if he/she is too old, too young, doesn’t earn enough, or not of the right race, religion or sex? As long as they make you happy, that’s all that should matter. Stop caring about what people will think.
5. Do his friends/family members like me?
Unnecessarily assuming that his friend circle or close family doesn’t like you, or mistrusts you, is of no avail. Chances are, they don’t hate you and they are not poisoning your partner’s mind against you. Paranoia doesn’t help. And anyway, even if they are; if your partner loves you enough, it shouldn’t matter!
6. Imagining scenarios of one of you breaking up with the other.
The human mind does have a tendency to imagine the worst happening. It is our brain’s way of insulating us from pain and preparing us for the very worst. However, try and keep your morbid imaginings of break up scenarios down to a minimum. If things are going just fine and there’s no trouble, why entertain the possibility of a break up? It just doesn’t make sense.
7. If he doesn’t do something for me, he doesn’t love me.
So your partner refused to accommodate a minor request. Big deal! His love for you is not dependent on him doing the things you tell him to! Instead, his love is demonstrated by the things he does without you telling him to.
So give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and do not assume that he/she doesn’t love you if they occasionally forget to or to refuse to do things you tell them to.
The less you obsess over your relationship, and go with the flow, the more successful your relationship will be. Thinking too much about anything is always disastrous. Keep these toxic thoughts as far as you can, for a healthy, fulfilling and loving relationship.