Happiness, typically, is a fleeting moment. But experiencing this emotion is a personal choice and sometimes, we deprive ourselves of happiness, intentionally or unintentionally. Unhappiness, on the other hand, reveals itself in various forms and is constant when experienced by you. It’s easier to let gloom dominate your emotional health.

Everyday, we commit mistakes that lead to unhappiness. We often don’t realise the gravity of our mistakes and soon find ourselves in an abyss of gloom. There are three things you can do with unhappiness; you can feed it, help it grow, or try your best to get past it. Here are some actions that make sadness a constant presence in our lives:

1. Changing who you are to satisfy people.

We worry about trivial things like, “Why don’t they like me?” In the process of pleasing people, we change from our true selves to unrecognizable selves. If someone doesn’t accept you, then they aren’t worth being part of your life.

2. Sacrificing your happiness for others.

Life is about sharing happiness, not sacrificing it. So if you want something and so does someone else, put yourself first. Always give yourself the highest priority before anyone else. Your happiness is your right and you should enjoy it.

3. Critiquing yourself.

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We all have our inner critic who self-sabotages our confidence. This inner critic enjoys blaming you, comparing you, and undermining your self-worth. Turn a deaf ear to this voice and you’ll notice the difference.

4. Worrying about people’s opinions.

People talk and people judge. By taking those unnecessary opinions personally, you are depriving yourself of happiness and confidence. You can’t control their thoughts but you can focus on yours.

5. Using past failures as an excuse.

Everyone, at some point in life, has experienced failure. The experience is harsh and we make it an excuse for trying harder. Instead, take that failure and learn from it. It’s not the end, it’s the beginning of something greater.

6. Holding grudges.

Grudges are toxic, harming you emotionally and mentally. When you forgive someone, you are released of the toxicity and blessed with a greater power. You grow stronger and have more control on your life by not letting those events affect you.

7. Spending time with negative people.

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Don’t spend time with people who are constantly putting you down and pointing out your flaws. Dismiss the negativity and lean towards optimism. Surround yourself with a positive support system of family and friends.

8. Dwelling on the wrong things.

What we don’t realize is that our life is outside our control. Unexpected events, our past, or people’s opinions, we have no control over these things. You should divert that focus on things you can control and let go of things you can’t.

9. Losing track of your goals.

With the social conditioning in society, sometimes we are bound to lose track of our goals and in the process, ourselves. It’s a crazy world out there and believing in yourself in the surest way to be happy.

10. Perfectionism.

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Perfection doesn’t exist but excellence does. We get stuck in a void when we aim to be perfect, wasting time that can be used to be excellent at what we do. Instead of going after something un-achievable, focus on being the best at whatever you do.