Image Source: Chispa! Magazine
Everyone’s in search of happiness. But while some people get by alright with whatever good that’s going on in their lives, many unquestionably belong to the “unhappy and I know it” troupe. If you think you’re one of them, but want to change things around dramatically for your good, you should examine the causes of your unhappiness. To help you in process, we look at 10 common causes of unhappiness.
1. You can’t help but please people.
All your life you’ve done things to please other people. You worked hard at school and secured an A grade because it made your dad happy. Then, you joined college and took up a course that your mom wanted you to. You then behaved a certain way at your workplace only so you could please your boss and your colleagues. And now, you realize how hollow you feel inside. The problem is, you’re not living a life that’s true to yourself. You’re allowing others to dictate your choices, and that’s making you feel unhappy.
2. You’re working yourself to death.
So many people work so hard at the office that they forget the reason they began working so hard in the first place — to live the good life. They get stuck in their jobs from morning to night, feeling exhausted at the end of the day and unable to think of doing anything new or interesting. Then they desperately latch on to their weekends, trying to make up for the lost week on the weekend. But as Sunday comes to a close, the damning feeling starts sinking in as you prepare yourself for another grueling week. There’s no happiness to be found here.
3. You’re upset about the workplace environment.
Sometimes, despite your commitment to work, you get pulled up unfairly for minor things. And then you begin to feel like you’re working really hard for nothing, and that you’re being paid lesser than you deserve. This feeling of being treated unfairly by the management is one of the biggest reasons for high stress levels and dip in productivity among employees, studies have shown. So if you have managers who don’t treat you right, they’re doing you more harm than you think. Perhaps, the best option in this case would be to quit your job and find some peace of mind.
4. You keep thinking about what you don’t have.
If you often think about unfulfilled ambitions, or dread the fact that you don’t have the bike, the car, the house, the money, the fame, the prosperity you’ve always desired, you’re not going to make for a happy fella. These feelings bring up a certain amount of desperation and helplessness that grips you hard and suffocates you — an unmissable sign of unhappiness. In such a situation, you’ve got to make peace with yourself and start life anew, focusing this time on achieving true happiness.
5. You’re surrounded by unhappy people.
American entrepreneur Jim Rohn’s popular quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” hits the nail on the head. The people you spend most of your time with shape your opinions, attitudes, beliefs, speech, and action. Living among these specific set of individuals, you develop a certain way of thinking and feeling. So if these individuals turn out to be unhappy folks, that same pattern of thinking and feeling is most likely to extend to you, and will eventually gobble you up.
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6. You’re living in a shell.
So often we get trapped in a cocoon and don’t realize it. For instance, when we spend our weekends mostly sitting at home, aimlessly surfing the internet or sleeping, and when we avoid socializing in the evenings after work and just head home instead. Even the exact opposite scenario is like living in a cocoon. Trying to spend all your time outdoors, hanging out with friends at pubs and cafes, and never really being home. In either case, unhappiness ultimately envelopes you, and while you have no idea about it at first, you begin to feel its undercurrent rise over time.
7. You hate your past.
You may have done or been part of things in the past that you’re not proud of. You may have cheated on your partner back in the day, engaged in forms of violence, been an asshole to your younger brother — whatever it is that you did in the past, you never seem to get past it in your present, and that causes unhappiness. Most people tend to be affected severely by their past, but they don’t realize that their present and future get similarly affected too. The only way out is to accept your past as it is and decide to move on.
8. You feel the need to control things.
You love being in control of things. You like to call the shots because you think you know what’s best for everyone and demand that they be a part of it. You like to think that others aren’t capable of doing what’s expected of them and, therefore, can’t get by without your help. These are the possible signs of a control freak, and consequently, signs of unhappiness too. Life is wildly unpredictable. Controlling it is impossible, and so unfortunately, you can’t help but be unhappy all the time.
9. You have a pessimistic outlook.
A glass-half-empty person isn’t going to be able to see the silver lining when things go wrong in life. As a result, they’re likely to be spending their days upset, disappointed, and unhappy. Life is a beast that’s impossible to tame. You’ll often end up getting the rough end of the stick, and won’t be able to do anything about it. Now, unless you try to be inspired from and learn from the tough times, there’s not much of a possibility of happiness lurking for you on the horizon.
10. You have no sense of purpose in life.
The number one factor responsible for people becoming radicalized, and a fraction of them turning to terrorism, is not having a sense of purpose or direction in life. These individuals feel lost as they’ve no idea where they’re headed. They also don’t seem to understand the reason behind doing regular things, like being nice to relatives or pursuing a career. That’s when you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom and see no real reason to be happy. This is a terrible affliction, but a way out of it is through confiding in your loved ones and rebuilding your life from the scratch.